Jesus is my ocean   September, 2014

It started like any other walk. I came to the beach to find peace, to get alone with God and reset the rhythm of my heart. There is something ever-so-soothing about the sound of the waves as they crash onto the surf. That symphony of crescendos seems to drown out all other noise around me. It's perfect in its timing and cadence. The boys were at the pool, Graysen was lying in the sun, so it was the perfect time to talk to Poppa without interruption. After all, I had questions only He had answers to. So I walked, watching the little birds cluster around clam beds, and tiny little crabs scurry about and then I began to watch the waves move toward the shore line—the mist and the sea foam kissing the shore time and again until the creator urges the surf back out to sea. And that's when the conversation started. He likes to speak to me through nature. I am a visual learner and nature provides a lot of aid. He began to tell me that He represents the ocean and I represent the shore. Time after time He sends His waves to me and I send them back. It's a beautiful picture of relentless pursuit. No matter how many times the shore rejects the advances of the ocean, it never gives up. It still keeps coming. There is something life changing in that process. With each gentle caress of the waves, there is erosion. When the ocean comes to the shore, it takes some of the sand away with it and that's a metaphor for transformation. Anytime you are touched by Poppa God, there is change. The waves come and shave away layers of sand, but they also bring back sand that has gone out to sea. This sand that is returned to the shore has been cleansed and purified before its return. That's how it is in the kingdom. There's always an exchange! As I was getting all excited about the new revelation, I found myself tangled up in some sea grapes. Poppa decided He needed to further clarify this concept for me. The sea grapes are all over the place here in Juno and some had washed up around my ankle as I stood in the surf. As the waves pulled them back out into the ocean they cut all around my right ankle causing it to bleed. I looked down to see the blood running down my ankle bone and thought, “Man that hurt, and here comes the wave and I'm not quick enough to move after I notice it's coming”...so the salt water floods all around my cut ankle causing it to sting like crazy!!! So I say, "Seriously Poppa? I'm out here talking to you about your greatness as the ocean and You want to cut me?" Gently, He smiles and says, "Daughter, sometimes the transformation is gentle like eroding sand and other times it has to be quick, like a sword. I have to cut away things that aren't of me. I have to remove them quickly so they don't take root and then I have to cleanse that spot, purify it. So yes, at times that can sting." And then I looked down and found this incredible shell. It’s beautiful, just lying before me with no other shells around it. So I bent to I pick it up—a physical example in my hands of the exchange. When God takes something from your life, He doesn't come as a bully. He comes as a loving father and when He removes something not of Him, or not for you, from your life, He marks you with something beautiful. I had begun to weep and not even noticed the tide had begun to turn, from low tide to high tide. The waves were increasing in intensity and coming more furiously towards the shore. The waves swelling further and further up the shoreline, more ground being taken. The once dry and sandy beach, was now becoming wet with the kisses of the water.  And He spoke again, saying this was how it is in our hearts. As we become saturated in His love, His relentless pursuit of our wholeness begins.  The hard and dry places begin to soften and erode, and He marks them with His love making them into something beautiful. The tide is turning! You may feel like you are in low tide, but get ready because high tide is coming. Transformation is taking place. I can't say whether it will be gentle or a swift cutting, but it is coming. If you allow Him to wash over you, He will cleanse and purify you and mark you as His beautiful one. There is always exchange; what is not of Him for more of Him! But you have to be willing to let go. Close your eyes and picture whatever is holding you back from experiencing more of God in your walk. Imagine holding it in your hand, whether it's anger or unforgiveness, or a sin habit like addiction or idolatry... picture it in your hand. With your hand grasped tight around it nothing can get it...it is firmly in your grasp. Realize that as long as that hand is full, it can't hold anything else. So I want you to picture yourself, holding that thing, standing before Poppa. And I want you to ask for an exchange. If you can picture it, I want to you to extend that hand to him and release your grip on it. Willingly hand it over to Him...it may hurt letting it go, it may sting even, but let it go and ask Him to give you something in its place. If you've been holding on to anger, ask for joy. If you've been holding onto unforgiveness, ask for grace to extend and receive forgiveness. If you are holding on to a sin habit, ask for mercy to overcome! Let Him mark you for heaven! There is no sin that He cannot overcome. There is no addiction to strong, there is no sin so great that He can't provide a way out, but you have to take the first step in letting go. So ask for that exchange and know that Poppa is a jealous God. When you give Him something of the world in exchange for something in the kingdom, know He does not want to give it back. He's already paid for whatever you are asking for...so place it in His hands without any intent of trying to get it back. Let Him erode away that desire to hold on to the world, and let His waves of love, grace, mercy and kindness wash over you.   Anna